I've been holding back these past few days on writing this post. But this is my little corner of the internet and for a long time now it has been a place where I come to vent or just ramble on about my feelings. The truth is that nowadays we are living in a very scary place and it scares me every time that my son walks out the door.
With shootings, kids taking things into their own hands and resorting to violence when they are being bullied in school, and some bad cops taking advantage of their authority and abusing the power that they have, I truly worry for my teenage son.
Everyday we talk to him, there is not one day when we don't give him advice about behaving and if he were ever to be stopped by a cop to respect. It still doesn't seem like enough, I still worry. He is after all a teenage boy, he will be tempted to do the wrong thing and as a human he will make mistakes. Mistakes that can have an everlasting impact in his life. It's hard being a teenager, because of one bad apple it's always ruined for the rest. I've been to stores where I will see a teenager just walking down the aisle while they look for what they need whether it's a bag of chips or a certain candy and i've also seen how they are followed. It breaks my heart every time. Because I imagine my own son walking into a store and being followed for the simple reason of being a teenager. A few months ago I remember being in Party City and this group of kids going in to look for some halloween stuff, they were in there for about 10 minutes just one aisle away and they would laugh once in a while but not once did they act rowdy or start running around the store. The security guard still thought it would be a good idea to go up to them and tell them that they better not act up or else they would have to leave the store, and that he was watching them to make sure they didn't put anything into their pocket. My blood started to boil up, they'd already been there for 10 minutes and not one single incident. Was it because they were from a minority group? Or was it just because they were teenagers in a store. Needless to say, I started imaging Miguel with his friends and him being told that. Even though Valentina was with me, I grabbed her hand and went up to the guard, and told him that, that was not the way to speak to the kids. That he didn't even have to go and tell them that, why mess with them when they were doing nothing wrong. His response "we have teens that come in here and steal" So that gives him a right to go up to them and assume that they are going to do the same. You better believe that I called corporate that day and made sure to tell them what was going on with that guard. After going back a few weeks later, another guard was in place. Just goes to show that you can make a difference if you speak out.
Not all teens react the same, some will get mad and they are in their right but that's where things can take a turn for the worse. I've always told Miguel that if he were in that situation, to just walk away and not answer back. Do not ever give a reason for them to touch you or you get even more mad that you will react in an improper way.
Yes, not all cops or guards are the same but there are enough power abuser ones out there, to make me worry about my teenage son who is also hispanic.
That's just one of the worries, then you have the people that continue with their acts of terrorism and using guns to kill innocent people. It always worries me when my dad leave for work at 4:30am, but that's why they are called acts of terrorism they are done so that we can live in fear.
Or the kids who get tired of being bullied and end up taking "justice" into their own hands. I can happily say that my son goes to a high school with metal detectors, it does alleviate my worry a little bit, because when there is a will there is a way. And if somebody really decides to take some sort of weapon into a school with metal detectors they will try and find a way.
It truly is a scary place the on ewe live in and every day it sucks to watch the news, yes sucks because now more than ever it seems like there is nothing but bad news and more innocent people just keep dying.
These are just some of my feelings jumbled up in this post. There is so much more that I wish I could say. One thing is for sure, every second I spend with my family and loved ones they are full of happiness. I hug my kids tightly when ever I can and they let me. I tell them I love them, they are my every things.
Every day I pray for peace on Earth, we truly need it now more than ever.
Even day I pray for for my family, that every time they walk out that front door they make it back home safely.
Love,
Kary xoxo
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